December 12

I am so tired.  Not just from not sleeping much, because Dinah thinks sleep is a waste of time.  But I’m tired even more of worrying.  I know that now I’m a mom, worrying is part of life.  But it’s one thing to feel nervous about whether Dinah is all right and sleeping okay and feels happy, and it’s another to have your number one nemesis pop up.

Morgan went home last week, just in time for Casey to arrive.  That helps put my mind at ease.  Both Chuck and I aren’t at our best right now, so having Casey here lets me know that we’re safe.  And when Chuck goes into work, he’s got a whole building of superheroes to watch his back.  I’d rather it was me doing that, but it’ll be a while until I’m back in my old shape. 

Enough of the bad news.  I want to talk about my amazing, beautiful baby.  It is so special to see Dinah changing each and every day.  Something as small as gripping my finger with her hand makes her light up, excited to have learned something new.  And she’s already showing who she is.  She loves cuddling, she doesn’t like having socks on her tiny pretty feet, and she really likes listening to Chuck sing.  That’s how I know she’s my girl.  :-)

Ellie, Devon and Clara will be coming to visit us for Christmas, so when we feel awake enough, Chuck and I are tidying up and decorating the loft.  He’s so excited to have his sister here and for the rest of the family to meet Dinah.  I’m excited, too.  It’ll be great to talk to Ellie about baby things, about being a mom and not worrying over the smallest details.  Devon has also been great to talk to, and from the pictures that Chuck has shown me, Clara has gotten so big.  

I should take advantage of Dinah napping and do some Christmas shopping, so more later.

Oh, perfect!  We could use your help—Tony thought it would be funny to dump Wolverine on us.  And if anyone can knock some sense into Logan, it would be you.  It’ll be great to have you here, so you can spend some time with Dinah.  I’ve texted you our address so you can come straight here.

It’ll be great to have you here.  We’ve got plenty of room, so you don’t have to worry about a hotel.  And you can drop the act, you know.  I bet you’re excited to see Dinah and I bet you’re looking forward to being an honorary uncle.  Because I promise that when Dinah starts dating, you can come over and glare at her date.  It’d go nicely with the big gun I’d have in my hand when I opened the door to said date.

I miss you, too.  Really!  You should come visit and I’ll show you the SHIELD armory.  I love Chuck, but talking to him about guns … well, it doesn’t go well.  And Dinah is beautiful and rarely cries and doesn’t drool at all.

And I even less expected to see you here!  But it’s great to have you here, so you can stay posted on us.  And Chuck is right, you really need to come visit and meet Dinah.  I know she’d be excited to meet her Uncle Casey. 

November 28

This is the first time since Thanksgiving that I’ve felt awake enough to write this post.  Because being a mom, as compared to being pregnant, is even more exhausting and exciting than I thought. 

If you didn’t see Chuck’s post, yes, it’s official.  Dinah Eleanor Bartowski, born on November 22, seven pounds and twenty-one inches long.  She’s beautiful and sweet, but she also thinks sleep is for the weak.  Which, you know, I can respect, but … I am so tired.  I don’t know that I’ve ever been this tired.  I’m half-expecting to fall asleep in the middle of this post. 

But Dinah is amazing.  She already smiles when she sees me or Chuck walk into her nursery, even when she’s crying.  She likes playing with her feet—she seems very flexible for a baby.  I guess that’s one thing we know she’s inherited from me.  :-)

She’s also so smart, just like Chuck.  You can just tell.  And yes, I know, I sound like such a mom … but I didn’t know that I’d ever be like this.  I spent a half hour watching her sleep yesterday, just because I couldn’t believe that this tiny little person was part of me.  Dinah is part me and part Chuck, but she’s also her own person.  Like how she really doesn’t like sleep, which is all her.  And she loves Morgan’s beard—every time he picks her up, she lets out this pretty little gurgle of a laugh and immediately pats his face. 

Speaking of Morgan, he’s been a lifesaver.  He showed up on Sunday and has been cooking, helping with Dinah so Chuck and I can sleep, and he even went to the store the other day in order to help replenish our supplies.  Because oh my God, does a baby mean supplies. 

And Chuck … Chuck is already the best father in the world.  Watching him with Dinah makes me feel things I’ve never felt before.  He’s so happy that she’s here, that he can already start teaching her things and explaining this big, crazy world to her. 

Also, the other night, Morgan talked him into playing video games, and he did it with Dinah laying on his chest.  I took a picture—I’ll have to post it here once I have the energy to get it off the camera. 

Uh-oh, I can tell Dinah’s awake and she’s hungry.

intersectish:

We have a new intern at the lab, and he likes to take photos. 

Like, traditional “I’m gonna go develop this film after work!” photos. 

He’s a good kid. A little weird. A genius, like the rest of us. He’s gonna be picking up some of the slack while I’m out on leave when the baby comes. 

Anyways, he took this while I was on the phone with Sarah, and then hung it on the bulletin board. Finally! A photo where my face doesn’t look crazy-fied! 

Intern Peter Parker, welcome to the funny farm. :)

Oooh, I like this picture.  Tell Peter the intern that I approve. 

larkinman:

Ahem.

Those are adorable.  Chuck, we should get those for Dinah.  If nothing else, Steve would get a kick out of them. 

October 31

I’m getting closer and closer to my due date, which means I feel bigger and bigger.  Considering I’m eight months pregnant, I feel pretty good most of the time.  I’ve taken it easy today, since I know I’ll be on my feet some while handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters.  Chuck is so excited to know that next year we can take Dinah out for Halloween; he’s already brainstorming costume ideas.  Especially ones that all three of us can participate in. 

It’s so much fun to see Chuck get so excited.  He’s so thrilled to be a dad—so ready for it.  It helps when I start worrying, because he’s so sure that I’ll be a great mother.  And when Chuck Bartowski believes something, he makes sure you know, too. 

And it sounds like the man in question has just arrived home a bit early, so I’m going to wrap up this entry and make sure he doesn’t steal candy from the stash for the kids.  :-)

larkinman:

slutty-fetus:

pumpkinbusiness:

craaaaaaaaaaaaaaazycaaaaaaaaaas:

thewanderingword:

gingerinvermont:

the-altar:

Genius.

Do want.

And so, a new breed of assassins was born…

yes i can see it now.

my alarm clock will be across the room and i will master shooting with my eyes closed and become a master assassin

and then go back to sleep

Gosh, I can’t think of anyone I know for whom this would be a perfect present.

If you’re thinking of me, Bryce, I’m a lousy shot when I’m just waking up.  I’m much better with knives.  Of course, with Dinah arriving any day now, I’m trying to stop sleeping with a knife under my pillow.  It seems like a habit I need to break.